Rainbow - The journey to Riley
by lennyxperaltiago
Summary: Everyone wants happiness. No one wants pain. But you can't have a rainbow, without a little rain.
1. Chapter 0: Prolouge

_This is only the prologue, just to see if you would like me to continue with the story._

* * *

Have you ever had the days where you don't want to get out of bed, or move a limb for hours. The days where you could just lie there, paralyzed. The days where you find yourself crying uncontrollably, unable to stop, no matter how long you've actually cried for. The days where your mind gets overrun with hatred and sorrow. That's how everyday has been for me.

In the four months out from the birth of my stillborn son, I haven't wanted to do anything else but feel betrayed by everyone. My father, My family, My friends. Everyone.

How many times I wished to die, just to travel back in time to stop it from happening. The amount of times I have wished to confront the doctors and nurses, blame them for everything that happened on the cold fall night in October last year.


	2. Chapter 1: One day at a time: Feb

_"I'm just a_ _precious little one,_

 _who didn't make it there._

 _I went straight to be with Jesus,_

 _but I'm waiting for you here._

 _Many dwelling here where I live,_

 _waited years to enter in._

 _Struggled through a world of sorrow_

 _a world marred with pain and sin._

 _Thank you for the life you gave me,_

 _it was brief but don't complain._

 _I have all Heaven's Glory,_

 _suffered none of earth's great pain._

 _Thank you for the name you gave me._

 _I'd have loved to bring it fame._

 _But if I'd lingered in earth's shadows,_

 _I would have suffered just the same._

 _So sweet family don't you sorrow._

 _Wipe those tears and chase the gloom._

 _I went straight to Jesus' arms,_

 _from my mother's womb." - Author Unknown_

* * *

Chapter 1: One day at a time: February.

I walked through the door into the untouched nursery with Howard by my side. I immediately felt the same anger and pain I did four months ago.

Howard kindly placed his hand on my shoulder, persuading me in.

I ran my hand up and down the front of the crib that was never used once. I looked at the monthly progression frame that still had the default pictures inside. I caught a glimpse of my son two weeks before he was born.

"Still a looker, aye?" Howard asked, turning from one of the shelves.

I nodded in response. I tried to speak, but I couldn't find it in myself.

I opened the closet door as my heart stopped for a moment. I could feel myself tearing up as I searched through Bentley's newborn clothes that he never got to wear.

After a moment, I couldn't take it anymore. The depressed feeling was eating it's way back through me, as it had done every single day since October. I stormed myself out of the nursery before my emotions got the better of me.

As I stood by the bathroom door, all I could hear were voices in my head. The words flying from one side to another. I could feel my throat get dry as my eyes started to well up.

I started to think as myself as the idiot, hanging on to these emotions for months.

If my mother was around at the time, which of course she wasn't, I wouldn't feel the urge to hold on to the string that kept Bentley on my shoulders, and she would of convinced me to move on the day after.

As I prepared myself to go back into the nursery, I heard the faintest noise coming from behind the bathroom door. I opened it ajar and glimpsed her reflection in the mirror, and I could tell she was scared.

I pushed myself through the door as Penny fell on to me like a rag doll. Her whimpering sounds reminding me of a dog lost in a storm.

"What's going on?" I asked, rubbing her back to comfort her.

She lifted the pregnancy test up from the counter and showed me that it was positive.

I picked it out of her hand as she started trembling. I placed it back down on the counter as I wrapped my arms around her body again.

"I don't want to.. I don't want it to happen again." She stammered, as we were both on the verge of tears.

I didn't answer back. I didn't know what to say. After a stillbirth; What do you say? I could only help, which was said that was what I was best at.

Penny sniffed as I placed my chin on her head. I kept rubbing her back as I zoned away from the world.

* * *

 **2007:**

"We're home." I called as both me and Sheldon walked through the apartment door.

"Oh, my God, what happened?" Penny asked, eyeing us both up.

"Well, your ex-boyfriend sends his regards and I think the rest is self-explanatory."

"I'm so sorry. I really thought if you guys went instead of me, he wouldn't be such an ass." She explained, looking guilty.

"No, it was a valid hypothesis."

"That was a valid hypothesis? What is happening to you?" Sheldon asked.

"Really, thank you so much for going and trying, you're so terrific. Why don't you go put some clothes on, I'll get my purse and dinner is on me, okay?" She offered, giving us both a hug.

"Really? Great." I smiled, blushing over her.

"Thank you." Sheldon said, as we both turned and watched Penny enter her apartment. "You're not done with her, are you?" He asked after she was out of ear shot.

"Our babies will be smart and beautiful." I gushed,

"Not to mention imaginary." He slapped back as we both still stood, pantless, at the doorway of our apartment.

* * *

"I don't want it to happen again." Penny repeated.

I looked her in the eyes as they glistened in the reflection of the bathroom light.

"And it won't." I promised, hoping it wouldn't get broken, " Cause we're just going to take this day by day until it's all over."

I kissed Penny on her forehead as she wiped away the tears on her cheek.

"One day at a time." I muttered, pulling her towards my chest again.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, hoping that it was all just a bad dream. But as I saw the pregnancy test on the counter, I knew it wasn't. Penny was pregnant again, and there wasn't anything I could do but help her through it.

I walked back out into the bedroom and saw Penny still asleep. I pulled over the sheet to cover her open shoulder. I found myself staring at her for a while, thinking about if it was possible that she really did agree to marry me, or this whole thing from when I first met her has been a huge dream.

Before I walked down the stairs, I peered through the nursery door. I glanced up at the last ultrasound picture of him resting on the shelf. I took it down and carefully sat in the chair in the corner of the room, not taking my eyes off the picture.

"Please don't let anything happen to this baby. Just give it a chance on life.. Please." I pleaded, holding the frame up to my chest.

* * *

I looked over at Penny, noticing that her leg was jumping frantically up and down. I placed one hand on her arms whilst keeping the other on the wheel in front of me. She turned from looking at the passing scenery and looked deeply at me.

"Everything going to be fine." I reassured, keeping my eye on the quick changing traffic.

I looked in the rear view mirror and saw Sheldon stirring in the backseat.

"Sheldon, why did you come if you're not going to enjoy it?" Penny asked, turning to face the backseat passengers.

"Amy made me." He muttered loudly.

"I didn't make you. I said you had a choice." She insisted as Sheldon scoffed under his breath. "You chose to come."

"You said it would be fun." He complained,

"Stop it! We're in a car, How much more fun does it get?!" Penny yelled as I tried to keep my concentration on the road.

I quickly turned to face Penny, who I could tell was getting red with anger, and then back at Sheldon, who was slowly falling into the seat after being yelled at.

"Leonard! The road!" Penny shouted, pulling my attention back forward.

I saw the fear in Penny's eyes as I pulled the car back into the center of the lane.

"Sorry, I got distracted." I muttered.

"Where are we going?" Sheldon asked, pulling his head through the gap between the front two seats.

"My sister and her kids are coming to visit, so we're picking them up from the airport, and then we're taking them to the zoo." Penny answer as Sheldon sat back in his seat.

"That's what I call fun." He smiled, looking ahead.

* * *

I sat at the table next to Isabella, who was too old to enjoy the zoo as she said. I shuffled my feet under the table, bring careful not to knock the unhappy eleven-year-old.

"Penny, can you help over here?... Please." I muttered trying to get a conversation going rather than sitting in the awkward silence.

"So, Isabella, how's school?" She asked, sitting at the table.

"The teachers said my work and concentration has dropped this year. I'm thinking it's something to do with death of grandpa last year." She informed, reminding me about the death of my father-in-law last August. "And maybe Bentley too." She added.

"You just don't seem to stop." I interrupted,

"Oh, I forgot. Sorry." She apologized.

Penny shrugged as I could see Isabella's words stabbed her in the heart.

"Is she talking your ear off?" Sara asked, approaching the table.

"A little to much.." Penny answered back in a high voice.

"Death seems to be the main topic." I sighed, looking to my right, away from getting eye contact.

"Isabella!" Sara gritted, getting to her daughters level.

Sara grabbed her attention and whispered something in her ear. She then stormed off with Ruby right behind her mother's footsteps. Isabella angrily storming off with her too.

"That's why I was anxious about coming here today. Cause Isabella has a tendency to get off topic without thinking it through. She's exactly like my brother, and that's how he ended up in jail." Penny sighed, holding in the tears.

I quickly moved closer to her and placed her head on my shoulder. I calmly rubbed her arm, comforting her.

"You can't worry anymore. This time will be different, I promise." I soothed, as Penny shook her head.

"It won't. It won't." She repeated over and over again.

"Why? Why won't it be any different?" I asked,

"Cause it won't. It never has. We get excited about it, then suddenly, we don't have a baby anymore. How do you know it _is_ going to be different?" She questioned.

I didn't answer. Penny looked at me funny before wiping the stream of tears from the side of her face. I placed my head in my hands, before I found myself crying.

Sheldon walked out from behind the long bush with a giant grin on his face, Amy not that far behind him. He stopped after he noticed me and Penny.

"Sheldon, I know you're happy, but did you have to- What's wrong?" Amy asked, spotting us too.

"It's fine. Isabella just got off topic, that's all." I sniffed, wiping away a tear from my cheek.

Amy sat across from the two of us as Sheldon was still stood by the refreshments stand.

"I'm sorry. If I was there, she would of stopped right away." She insisted. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Penny shook her head in response for both of us as I calmed myself down.

Amy nodded before she stood up and took Sheldon's hand, pulling him away.

"Why don't you tell Ruby about what you did." She suggested, acting like her husband was a four-year-old.

I watched them walk away, following Penny's sister, who wasn't that far ahead of them. I turned to Penny as she wiped the last tear of my face, smiling as she did so.

* * *

Placing my notepad on the desk in the centre of the room, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket as the music finished. I paused it before the next one sucked me in.

"Hey, Howard." I hesitated, placing the experimental glasses on the wall.

"How'd you know it was me?" He asked,

"Oh, lucky guess I suppose." I mentioned, turning to face him.

"Dude, my car's busted. Can I hitch a ride with you?" Howard asked, jumping right into why he was there.

"Sure. Sheldon's with me too." I informed.

"Thanks, I owe you one." He smiled.

I packed up the rest of the lab as Howard eagerly waited by the door, tapping his foot ever so slightly.

He walked ahead of me until we got to Sheldon's office. I knocked on the door to have Sheldon shout through to us.

"C'mon, Sheldon!" Howard called,

"I'm coming!" He shouted back.

* * *

"Do we have to listen to this music?" Sheldon asked, grunting in the back seat.

Me and Howard didn't answer, we just kept mouthing the words to the various songs that came on the radio.

"I read a study that says drivers that listen to music whilst driving are more than likely to be involved in an accident after being distracted." He informed, as I slowly switched off the radio.

I squinted my eyes ahead of the road as I noticed a car rapidly approaching.

"What side is that car on?" I asked, pointing it out.

"Left." Howard answered instantly as the car quickly got closer.

I carried on driving as my brain was saying it was okay, while my eyes were looking for a place to pull over, just in case.

"Uh, Leonard.." Howard hesitated, "That's on _its_ left."

"That would make it on the right." Sheldon pointed out,

"I know what side it would be on, Sheldon!" I yelled back at him.

The adrenaline filled my fingertips as I let my mind take over the wheel, swerving it to the left, causing the car to break through the bushes.

* * *

"Leonard!" The voice repeated, over and over again.

I slowly opened my eyes to see Penny hovering over me.

"Penny?" I asked, my vision still blurry, lifting my head up.

"Oh, thank God you're okay"" She sighed with relief, hugging me tight. "You have now idea how worried I was." She smiled, tearing up.

"What happened?" I asked, the whole event a blurr.

"A guy, Jimmy Speckerman, got into a motorized vehicle intoxicated, driving on the wrong side of the road." The paramedic declared.

"Jimmy Speckerman?" I repeated.

"Yes, that what the police are reporting. Why do you know him?"

"He tortured me in High School." I confessed as the guy was no longer paying attention.

"Uh-huh" He sighed.

I turned to Penny before looking around, my memory slowly reappearing.

"Where are we?" I asked, still lost on it.

"About twenty-minutes from the house. Near Park's Rowe." Penny mentioned. "Howard is doing fine, but Sheldon's still a little shaken up about it."

"Is he okay though?"

"He's fine."

I sighed, looking up at the sky. Penny walked off to Bernadette as I gathered my thoughts.

"This is all my fault." I muttered to myself.


	3. Chapter 2: Announcement: Mar

_'Tiny hands and tiny feet._

 _A tiny heart that no longer beats._

 _Everything about you was tiny, so small._

 _But our love for you is the biggest of all.'_

* * *

Chapter 2: Announcement: March

 _Wednesday, March 1st_

Even though I don't say this to her face, March can be a difficult month. All months after a loss can be hard, but March was when Penny found out she was pregnant with our now deceased son.

But the one I'm dreading the most is October, cause that's when Bentley was born, and that's when we've estimated that this baby will be born.

I can say all I like about this being different, but I don't want Penny to know I'm as terrified as her. I can't imagine having gone through the pain of grief with Bentley, and then going through it again. And I can't think about how hard it must be for her.

* * *

I looked up at my ceiling, still awake. I glimpsed the time on the clock next to my bed as I moved to a different position, trying to get comfortable.

I shut my eyes, but I could only picture Bentley. Déjà Vu, it can be a bitch at times.

I shook my head, trying to remove the image from my mind, but it didn't leave.

I sighed loudly, before sitting up in bed. Spinning my feet on the floor, I remembered that it was still early, and that Penny was asleep next to me.

I tip-toed toward the door as I heard Penny stirring in her sleep. I could help smiling at her.

"Leonard? Where are you going?" Penny asked as I stopped in my tracks.

"Um.. I'm getting a glass of water." I hesitated, turning to face her.

She slowly got out of bed and approached me, as I still stood in the doorway of the bedroom.

"You're anxious about the appointment tomorrow, aren't you?" She questioned as I raised my eyebrows.

I scoffed, "No.." I lied.

Penny looked at me like I was an idiot. I guiltily looked around the room while I made it so obvious I had lied.

"It's okay to be scared about it. I'm balls out terrified." She confessed.

I stood there for a moment before coming clean.

"Okay, let's say I'm a little nervous." I suggested. "It can't compare to what you feel."

Penny smiled at my honesty, but little did she know, that was just the tip of the iceberg. She quickly hugged me as I collapsed into her warm embrace.

"What we feel about this is exactly the same. It doesn't differ between the two of us." She smiled as I gazed fondly into her eyes, which appeared dark due to the minimal light.

* * *

 **2017:**

"Hey, what are you reading?" I asked, walking out into the kitchen, as I spotted Penny sitting at the kitchen isle.

"A parenting book." She answered, eyes still glued to the pages.

"Oh, my God. Are-are we?" I responded, my voice quickly stammering.

"Wha No! You think is how I would tell you?" She questioned.

"Well..." I started stammering, "You're sitting there with a book, it felt like anything was possible."

"Bernadette left it here." She cleared up as I sighed with relief.

I looked up at her whilst pouring myself a coffee, as she placed the book down on the counter.

"Anything interesting?" I asked,

"Well, I just saw a picture of a baby's head crowning, so I hope you enjoyed sex, because we're done with that." She nodded, her voice sounding somewhat reasonable.

* * *

"Leonard, come on." Penny called up for me as I tied my shoe.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back, slamming the bedroom door behind me.

Penny laughed and eyed me up as I jumped off the second to last stair.

"What?" I asked as she raised her eyebrow.

"Your fly is undone." She pointed out.

"Oh." I sighed, doing it up. "Better?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded, as I ran over to the front door. "You're crazy." She added, slowly following me.

"It's not my fault in excited." I smiled, standing patiently by the car.

Penny stopped in her tracks as I stopped jumping around in my mind.

"You were terrified eight hours ago." She mentioned,

"I know. But you've got to live in the moment, throw the past behind your back." I said, throwing my hands behind myself as Penny glared at me in confusion.

"I might have to start calling you Wackadoodle." She joked, as we both entered the car.

* * *

Penny smirked at me as I quickly tried to stop my leg from moving as the people behind us were complaining about me moving their chairs.

"Lost your excitement now?" She asked, as I glared deeply into her eyes.

She placed her hand out on to my knee as it slowly stopped.

"Penny Hofstadter." The nurse called, poking her head around the corner.

I felt my heart skip a beat as Penny glared at the door. She slowly stood up and walked through the door as I remained in the waiting room.

"Leonard? Aren't you coming in too?" Penny asked, walking back through the door.

I jumped up and followed her. She sat down across from the doctor as I stood awkwardly by the office door.

"Please, take a seat." He instructed as I skittishly sat next to Penny.

He looked down at the folder and sighed quietly, before looking us both in the eye.

"Okay. Let me start by introducing myself, my name is Dr. Howard Perry, and I will assist you throughout this pregnancy. You can call me, Howard or Dr. Perry, the choice is up to you." The middle aged man introduced as I felt my heartbeat in the bottom of my toes. "Due to the previous experiences, we would love to see you more than other couples that haven't been through what you have been through, just to be in the safe side with this baby. And to give it the best chance."

I looked over at Penny as she was listening intently to the doctor rambling on about nothing that was important to the situation.

"Would you like to see this baby?" He asked, smiling behind the folder as he grabbed my attention again.

Penny and I nodded simultaneously almost immediately after.

"I was expecting that reaction." He grinned. "I'll be with you in a minute." He added, walking out of the office.

I glimpsed Penny's sweet smile as my leg stopped moving completely.

* * *

Dr. Perry dimmed the lights so much you could say he straight up switched them off. I could feel my heart rate getting higher and higher as my palms started sweating.

He started up the machine as I felt like I could have bailed out at any moment.

Penny grabbed my hand and kept me sane as he went through little details.

The screen switched on as Howard smiled. He turned the screen toward us as the heartbeat echoed through the room.

"That is a very fast heartbeat." He announced as I knew it was much faster than Bentley's ever was.

"How fast is it?" Penny asked, with her eyes still glued to the computer screen.

"One-forty-three at the moment." He said as I looked in shock.

Penny raised her eyebrows as I felt relief in my entire body.

"That- That can't be normal." I stammered,

"It's different for every baby. Some have larger heartbeats than others. I'm guessing for you two, having a bigger heartbeat is more reassuring." He suspected, playing around with the keyboard.

Penny slowly nodded as I realized she had hardly blinked since they showed us the ultrasound.

"I'll be back in a moment." Dr. Perry said, before walking out of the room.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, as Penny turned her head to face me.

"Yeah." She sniffed. "That's our baby." She giggled, as my eyes started tearing up.

"That's our baby." I repeated, my eyes glued to the screen as the heartbeat continued to ring throughout the room.

* * *

"Are you okay, Leonard? You've seemed a little underneath the bridge today." Howard asked as he and Sheldon joined me at the table.

"Yeah, Yeah. I'm just tired." I stammered, rubbing my eyes.

Howard nodded as Sheldon continued to ramble on about his argument with Barry earlier that day.

I jumped inside as my phone buzzed on the table.

"Who is it?" Sheldon questioned as he began to eat his lunch.

"Penny." I sighed, lifting up the phone in front of my eyes.

I smiled as I read the short message that she had sent me. I placed my phone back on the table as Raj glared at me.

"He got something dirty." He laughed, turning to Howard.

"Keep it in your imagination, Raj." I stirred as he shrugged his shoulders and raised his arms.

I kept smiling as Sheldon looked at me funny over and over again.

"Okay, why are you appearing so happy?" Sheldon asked, throwing his plastic fork on his plate.

"Oh, it's just this picture Penny sent me." I beamed, unlocking the phone to show them.

Howard and Raj both looked at each other simultaneously and then back at the phone. Sheldon scrunched his face as he tried to spot what the picture was.

"You're kidding with us, right." Howard managed to ask,

I shook my head as they both jumped up and hugged me, whilst Sheldon still hadn't seen it yet.

"Is Penny okay with you showing us that?" Raj wondered as we sat back down.

"Yeah, she told Amy and Bernadette today anyway." I insisted.

"Well, congratulations buddy." Howard smiled, as he returned to eating his lunch.

"Why do we need to congratulate him?" Sheldon questioned as his mind was still stuck.

"Sheldon, you have an IQ of one-hundred-and-eighty-eight and you can't tell that was an ultrasound?" Howard asked as Sheldon quietly sighed.

"Actually, it's one-eighty-seven." Sheldon corrected as Howard stared right through him.

Sheldon shyly continued eating his lunch as Howard slowly nodded, before the table went silent for a moment.

* * *

I dragged my feet in behind me as I was still half asleep. I had just woken up to the credits of the movie on the empty couch.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw Penny asleep on her side of the bed, which was the one closest to the bathroom. Her braid covering her eyes. The sheets covering her waist down, with her arms tucked up close against her chest.

I smiled before joining her in the bed, almost collapsing on top of her. I kissed her on her cheek as I pulled the sheets over her shoulder. She turned to the other side as I placed my glasses on the bedside table, before switching off the dim lamp that she must of left on.

* * *

I heard Penny sigh quietly whilst she had her phone against her ear. I smiled over at her, still figuring out the equation in my head.

"Yes, mom. I'll see what he says." She muttered loudly, looking over. "I think he gets a say in it." She stated, before almost throwing her phone into the wall, which wouldn't of been the first time.

She hung up as I raised my eyebrows.

"Everything okay?" I asked, as she stared right through me.

"My mom is insisting that we come and visit in the first week of April." She sighed, placing her phone on the table.

"And what's wrong with that?" I asked, joining her at the table. "It would be perfect to tell your family about the baby while we're there."

Penny sat there in silence for a moment, twirling her finger on the screen of her phone.

"Oh, I hate it when you're right!" She smiled, gently slapping my arm. "I'll call her back."

I smiled over at her as she left the table. I looked back over at the whiteboard, mumbling under my breath. I heard Penny's voice, echoing through from the kitchen.

My phone started vibrating on the glass table, making me jump.

"Oh Hi, Doctor Perry." I said, answering the phone.

I sat there, holding my breath slightly. Penny reemerged from the kitchen, phone still to her ear.

"Uh-huh." I sighed quietly as Penny was nodding loudly to her mother.

I answered a question as I grabbed a notebook from the coffee table on the other side of the room, Penny following my every move.

After a moment, I hung up the phone, looking deeply into Penny's eyes.

"Mom, I need to go." She mumbled, cutting her off early.

I stood there in silence, adding to the tension. Penny edged her head forward as I swallowed.

"There is absolutely nothing to worry about." I beamed, as Penny ran into my arms.

I lifted her up and spun her around as her face was full of a smile. Her lips touched mine for a second as I carefully dropped her feet to the floor.

When she pulled away, I could see the tears glistening in her eyes.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, still holding on to her waist.

"These are happy tears, dumbass." She joked, before kissing me again.


	4. Chapter 3: Realization: Apr

_'A ray of sunshine came and went_

 _A beautiful treasure only lent,_

 _In God's keeping quietly sleeps_

 _A child we loved but couldn't keep.'_

* * *

Chapter 3: Realization: April

"You have a great house." I complimented, looking at the pictures hanging on the wall.

"Well, Thank you dear, but it was all Wyatt." She informed, laying the dining table, as she was still having trouble saying his name.

"Who ever did it. It looks great."

I continued looking around at all the older pictures by the stairs. I stopped at a smaller, higher, one and stared right over at it. Susan came up behind me and smiled.

"Oh, that's Penny up on the farm when she was about five." She beamed, pointing her out. "She was always a great help up there." She added, as I smiled at the picture of my wife holding a rake double the size of her.

I couldn't say anything. I was to taken aback from the picture, and how cute she was.

Penny walked through from the hall as she sighed loudly. I turned to face her as she looked mortified.

"Please don't look at those." She pleaded, trying to stop me from looking at the photos. "They're old and embarrassing." She laughed.

"How would you feel if I told you that I have seen a picture of you on your twenty-first birthday." I smiled as Penny glared at me, instantly remembering the picture being taken.

She turned to her mother, who was busy arranging the silverware on the table.

"Okay, why would you show him that?" She asked, her voice higher than usual.

Susan shrugged her shoulders as Penny glared back over at me. I raised my eyebrows over at her as she laughed under her breath.

* * *

"Mom," Penny started, grabbing her mother's attention. "There's something I want to give to you." She smiled as I but my bottom lip slightly. "I'll go and grab it."

She excused herself from the table and walked out into the hall. I sat there awkwardly as Susan turned to me. She asked what it was as I casually shrugged my shoulders, pretending not to know what it was Penny had gotten for her.

"Here." She smiled, handing her mom a wrapped present.

I tried my hardest not to smile, as not to give it away. Susan pulled away the wrapping paper and immediately turned the photo frame around.

She looked blankly at the picture as Penny was slowly about to explode with excitement.

"Penny, what is this?" She asked, trying not seem rude about it.

"I just thought you would like a picture of your grandchild." She beamed, not giving her mother eye contact.

Both Susan and Sara looked up at Penny with huge smiles on their faces. They quickly stood up and hugged her as Ruby sat in her chair, looking confused about the entire thing. Isabella jumped up from her seat to see the ultrasound.

"Really?" Sara asked, pushing Penny away with her hands.

"No... I just took that picture off the internet." She answered sarcastically.

Isabella looked up at Penny and scoffed slightly, "That's naughty."

"But, I was being sarcastic." Penny informed as she nodded her head.

"Well, we are so happy for you." Susan interrupted, turning Penny to face her. "Both of you." She smiled, turning to me too. "And we all wish you the best of luck."

* * *

After dinner, I continued looking around the ground floor of the house, as everyone was making glance after glance at the ultrasound.

Penny followed me through to the side living room. She crept up behind me as my mind was set on the old photos, hanging on the wall.

"What you doing?" She asked, making me jump.

"Just looking around." I smiled, whilst my heart was beating faster than usual.

She smiled and looked at a few of the pictures, whilst still keeping an eye on me. She stepped back closer and ran her hand up my arm.

"How about I show you my old room." She winked as I looked bug-eyed at her.

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" I asked, before swallowing deeply as she nodded, biting her lower lip.

I grinned as Penny slowly lead me to the stairs.

* * *

I lifted my head as my hand landed on the empty side of the bed. I cautiously looked around the pitch black room. I scurried my hand around the bedside table to find my phone, before the light filling the room as I pressed the home button.

I sighed after noticing it was early, and I was exhausted from traveling back from Nebraska the day before.

I jumped out of my skin as I heard retching coming from the bathroom, and I immediately burst out of bed. Luckily the door wasn't locked. I quickly sat by Penny's side. I grabbed her hair out of the side of her face, rubbing her back with my other hand.

After she was finished, I ran back through and grabbed the glass of water that she had taken to bed the night before and brought it to her.

She grinned as she took the glass out of my hand.

"Thank you." She said, with her hoarse voice.

"You're welcome." I smiled, sitting back next to her.

"I think it was all the traveling." She guessed, placing her head on the lid of the toilet, like it would happen again. "I'm sorry I woke you up." She apologized.

"I woke up before." I informed, shrugging my shoulders.

Penny nodded as I gazed into her eyes.

* * *

 **2009:**

"I missed you so much." Penny gushed, in between kisses.

"I missed you too." I smiled.

"I couldn't even think of anyone else while you were gone." She smirked, trying to compete,

"Me neither. Except for one night when the heat went out." I informed without thinking.

Penny glared at me, whilst we were both still holding on to each other's waist.

"Long story, it's... Don't ask." I pushed it aside, before returning to kissing her.

I stopped as I heard the knocking if my roommate on the other side. I whispered close to Penny, only to have him to hear it.

"It's not a good time, Sheldon." I insisted, walking forward and away from the door.

Penny glared at the door as he started knocking for her.

"Oh, this is ridiculous." She sighed, marching over to the door. "What?" She asked as Sheldon was angrily standing on the other side.

"Hello, Penny. I realize you're currently at the mercy of your primitive biological urges, but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?" He asked,

"It's great to see you too. Come on in." She said, obviously angry at him.

* * *

I was sitting on the couch, waiting for Penny to return home. I held a wet washcloth against my lower lip.

I had gotten into a fight with Sheldon earlier after he pushed the limit. But Sheldon didn't punch me, Amy did. I admit that I hurt him first. But his verbal words pushed my physical limit.

I removed the washcloth as Penny walked through the door.

"Leonard, are you okay?" She asked, placing her bag by the door.

I turned to face her and nodded. Her jaw almost dropped as her eyes were glued to my swollen lip.

"What happened?" She questioned, walking toward the couch.

"It's a long story." I sighed, covering my finger over my lip.

"Well, I want to know who did this to my baby daddy." She smiled, placing her hand on my knee.

"It was Amy.." I sighed, as she looked it disbelief.

"Sheldon's Amy?" She asked, her voice sounding surprised.

I nodded as it hurt to move my lips to much. Penny gazed around the room before standing up and tracing around the room.

"Why? What would she do something like that?" She wondered.

I shrugged it away, hoping she would drop the subject. She got her phone out of her jacket as my eyes were glued to Penny's tiny bump, which was made apparent in her outfit.

"Hi, Ames." She smirked as my heart skipped a beat. "I'm just calling to ask a question.." She paused for a moment. "What the hell did you do to my husband?" She yelled as I looked over, raising my eyebrows.

Penny continued to shout down the phone as I felt the pulsating in my mouth and lip. Penny walked out to the kitchen as my phone chirped on the coffee table.

I read the text from Howard and waited for the attachment. As soon as it came through, I followed it as it took me to YouTube.

I quickly turned it down as the music started blasting through the speakers on my phone.

Penny reemerged from the doorway with her phone on her shoulder.

"Sorry." I whispered, listening intently to the music.

 _'Sun shines on my bedroom wall, And today is the day, it's the start of it all it's true. I wanna be more like you.'_

"More Like You." I mumbled the name of the song to myself, the music still blurring away in the background. "I came across this earlier! You need to listen to this!" I repeated his text out loud.

 _'A life without hope, a life without dreams ain't good. I wanna be more like you. I wanna be more like you.'_

I listened carefully, taking in every word. I started smiling uncontrollably, noticing that I can't keep these fears in my shoulder. That I had to enjoy it, and look forward to having the baby in my arms in the future, no matter how long it would take.


	5. Chapter 4: Mix Up: May

_'No matter how long the rain lasts,_

 _There will be a rainbow at the end._

 _No matter how sad you may be,_

 _Believe, that happiness is waiting.'_

* * *

Chapter 4: Mix Up: May

"So, Penny. Another month down, meaning another month closer to this baby." Doctor Perry smiled, looking up from his desk.

I breathed loudly out from my nose and continued to listen to him, whilst looking down at my feet.

"Now, you have now got twenty-four weeks and five days until your due date, which is about 173 days." He laughed.

"Or 47.40 percent of the year." I smiled, as Penny stared at me.

I quickly looked down at my feet again. Howard chuckled before returning his concentration on the folder.

"Here, I'm just guessing, but we are going to have to do an ultrasound to make sure everything is okay, and we can search for something so we can start using pronouns rather than calling this baby an 'it' all the time." He suggested as I looked back up, whilst still embarrassed about my previous speech. "Well?" He asked, pushing his head forward as Penny stared me in the eyes.

Me and Penny both nodded simultaneously, but yet didn't say anything. Doctor Perry smiled before leaving the room.

Penny looked over and smiled as I felt anxiety again, just as I had done at every ultrasound.

"Hey, this is great." I persuaded, noticing that she was looking a little nervous too. "We're gunna find out if we've got a little boy or girl!" I smiled, pushing away my own anxious feeling.

* * *

The heartbeat filled the room as I blew a sigh of relief, as I did with every time I heard it. Doctor Perry was silent for a second as he examined the screen.

"Everything looks fine to me." He smiled, eyes still glued to the screen.

Even though she had heard the words we were hoping for, Penny was still holding pressure on my hand pretty tightly, but I was doing the same.

"Okay, I think I've found it." He smiled, turning the screen toward us. "Oh, Come on!" He grunted after the baby moved out of the shot.

"It obviously don't want to be seen today." I laughed.

"It's had enough of the appointments!" Penny beamed, as we both watched Doctor Perry's struggles to find the baby again.

"Okay," He started again.

He quickly smiled as me and Penny both struggled to see what he was pointing at.

"It looks like you two are having a baby boy." He beamed.

I swallowed hard as the words repeated in my head. Was I ecstatic? Yes. But was I terrified? More than ever..

* * *

The whole car ride home, I could stop thinking about Bentley, the baby, and how hard it would be to lose it. I was also thinking about the miscarriage two years ago, all of which, turned out as boys.

Penny was silent on the way home too. I wasn't sure if it was because I didn't talk, or because she didn't feel up to it.

Penny traced through into the living room as I locked the car, before following her.

As I entered the door, Penny had already disappeared out of eyeshot. I looked around the ground floor with no sign of her. I slowly walked up the stairs to notice the ladder crawling into the attic and I immediately knew she was up there. I slowly climbed the ladder, to check if she was okay.

I peered my head over and saw Penny sitting, with her back toward me, by the box of Bentley's things that we had finally managed to get up there, with help from Bernadette and Amy.

I deeply swallowed again as I put my feet to the attic floor. Penny turned to face me as I saw her eyes filled with tears.

I sat by her as she lifted one of the onesies out of the box. I smiled as it was The Flash one that Sheldon had bought.

"At least we can get to use these." I said, trying to get some positive things out of this.

Penny slowly nodded before returning the onesie into the box. I smiled over, before scurrying my hand around the box, yet not pulling anything out.

* * *

 **2021:**

"So, Leonard, how's the baby making going for you?" Howard asked as I glared up at him.

"Great! I have a baby at home right now." I answered sarcastically.

"You can't give up hope." He persuaded, as I sighed loudly.

"Howard, you've got two kids, that you won't admit, we're accidents." I snapped,

"Well, Ryder was..." He answered slowly,

"But we've been trying for a year, or twelve months, and we've had a total of eleven negative tests."

Howard looked over at me a second time as my phone rung in my pocket. Sheldon glared at me as I refused to answer it.

The people at the table behind me turned and asked me to answer the phone. I pulled it out of my pocket and turned my back to my friends.

My heart raised as Penny's overwhelmed voice came through the phone. I smiled as I turned back to face Raj.

Penny hung up the phone as I continued to beam. Howard glared over at me before smiling.

"Who was that?" He asked, still eating his lunch.

"Penny's pregnant!" I laughed, not answering Howard's previous question.

* * *

Penny shook my shoulder as I refused to open my eyes. I could tell it was still dark, and when it's dark, it's time for sleeping.

"Leonard?" She asked, her voice a little high.

I moved my head deeper into my pillow, hoping she would give up.

"Leonard?" She repeated, her voice choking up. "I think we've lost the baby." She cried.

I immediately sat up and grabbed my glasses from the bedside table.

"What?" I asked,

Penny collapsed into my chest, sobbing.

"I think we've lost the baby." She repeated.

I rubbed her back, whilst trying to look her in the eyes.

"Let's get changed, and we'll go to the hospital." I suggested, jumping out of bed, and walking backward toward the closet.

* * *

A nurse walked through the door as she smiled over at us. I glared over at her before Penny punched my arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" I asked, holding my shoulder in pain.

"Don't stare then!" She snapped, obviously scared out of her mind.

"Anyway, I'm Nurse Cindy Whitley, and I will assist you this evening." She introduced herself, as my leg was shaking uncontrollably. "First, we are going to do an ultrasound to see what's going on, and make sure everything is okay."

I sat in silence as Cindy got the machine working. Penny squeezed down on my hand harder than she did when she was in labor with Bentley.

Penny looked in shock as the heartbeat shot through the speakers. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"It looks like what you experienced was completely normal during pregnancy." She smiled, as Penny's hand relaxed. "Just a little spotting of blood. That is completely expected, especially after sexual intimacy." She explained as I looked bug-eyed at her.

She started clearing up as we heard the incredibly strong heartbeat. Penny smiled over at me as I kept sighing with relief.

"Your baby girl is doing just fine." She smiled, finishing up the ultrasound.

Both me and Penny stared over at her as her eyes were glued to the screen.

"Baby what?" I asked, disbelieving what she had just said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you not know?" She politely asked,

"Yeah, but we were told a boy." Penny stammered,

"Well, whoever told you that got it wrong, cause that baby is definitely a girl."

I blinked uncontrollably as I lifted my glasses up my nose again.

"I'll go and check your record." She sighed, leaving the room.

Penny smiled over at me as she was stopping herself from crying.

"We have a little girl!" She beamed, as I still didn't believe it.

"Yeah." I answered back, making sure I smiled.

* * *

"Leonard, I bet your super bummed you have to work on your birthday." Howard sneered, as I glared up at him.

"Well, I get to spend the evening with my wife and daughter-to-be." I smirked, before returning to my work.

"How are you keeping the sex of the baby a secret towards Sheldon? He has a right to know." He asked,

"Sheldon doesn't have the right to know, nor does he have the right to have a second opinion."

Howard sat in silence until Sheldon and Raj came to the table, and of course, they were arguing.

I hadn't spoke to Sheldon much since the fight at the end of last month, so he sat casually in the empty seat next to me and continued to pretend I wasn't there, which I was okay with.

"You can continue your argument with Raj." I confessed as Sheldon nodded slightly.

"Sheldon, there is no way you are right on this!"

Sheldon scoffed under his breath as I found it impossible not to join in.

"Okay, presume I am wrong-"

"Doing it." Raj interrupted.

Sheldon rolled his eyes slightly before continuing. I then payed no attention to the argument, because it wasn't important towards me.

"Leonard, don't you have anything to say?" Howard asked, grabbing my attention again, whilst interrupting Sheldon.

"Huh?" I mumbled.

"You told me something about the baby." He said, pushing the conversation forward.

I looked around the table as I noticed Sheldon's head down, like the baby was nothing toward him.

"Nothing. Nothing happened." I sighed, getting up from my seat and walking away from the table.


	6. Chapter 5: Apology: Jun

_'Somewhere over the rainbow,_

 _Skies are blue,_

 _And the dreams you dare to dream,_

 _Really do come true.'_

* * *

Chapter 5: Apology: June

"Leonard, you need to look at this!" Penny squealed, handing over her phone as I walked out the kitchen.

"When did you get up?" I asked, shocked that she was out of bed before midday.

Penny sarcastically laughed as I took her phone out of her hands.

"Of course I'm cute! Haven't you seen my daddy?" I read aloud the caption on a onesie that she had found. "Really?" I asked, leaning up against the back of the couch.

"Of course!" She smiled, before she continued browsing through her phone. "Hey, while you're still in here, have you told your parents yet?" She asked as I remembered that I was supposed to do that.

"Umm... No." I muttered.

Penny looked at me for a second as she raised her eyebrows.

"You haven't told your mom and dad that we're having a baby?" She questioned.

I slowly shook my head in response, to embarrassed to say anything.

"Oh, my God!" She sighed, looking away as I stood by the dining table, guilt ridden.

* * *

Howard was sat in the couch next to me, staring over at the mannequin that Penny had left out.

"How haven't you touched it yet?" He asked, as I noticed how much about him hadn't changed since we first met.

"Because I'm a civilized human being." I smiled, before taking a sip from my beer,

"What makes you think I'm not a civilized human?" He questioned, looking over at me.

"Cause you're a married man with two kids. Your wife is in the kitchen and you still want to touch the mannequin's breasts."

Howard scoffed quietly as Bernadette and Penny walked out from the kitchen.

"What you two talking about?" Penny asked, standing by the couch with Bernadette by her side.

"Howard wants to touch up the mannequin." I smirked, not hesitating to answer.

"You're so lucky you're sitting down, cause if you weren't, my foot would be so far up your ass, you could see it through your throat." Bernadette sneered, glaring over at her husband.

I snorted at my drink with laughter as Howard glared at me.

"I hate you!" He fumed as I smirked over at him.

"I never liked you much either." I joked, jumping up from the couch.

* * *

"Let me just apologize for my mistake. I have now come to know that the baby was lying a position that made the umbilical cord look like male genitalia." Doctor Perry apologized as I stared down at my feet. "We did start to think about the plausibility of a multiple pregnancy, but after the ultrasound, we have come to a conclusion that you are only having one baby. Which might be a big relief on your part." He smiled.

I looked up as Penny instantly nodded. I awkwardly repeated Penny after the room went silent.

"Well, I'm glad we have got that packed up then." He smiled, placing our folder in the draw of his desk. "I will see you again soon." He continued smiling as he walked me and Penny out.

* * *

"Leonard! Can you get that?" Penny called from upstairs just after the doorbell rang.

I jumped up and walked over to the door. I pulled it open and greeted Amy, who I was okay with. Sheldon peered around from the corner as we locked eyes. I glared over at him as he looked shyly over at me.

"Hey, Ames." Penny smiled, adjusting her earring. "Sheldon.."

Sheldon didn't answer, he just continued to look around the front porch, as I blankly stared at him.

Penny invited them in as I pulled her aside. I glared over at her.

"Why did you invite him?" I whispered loudly, trying not to shout.

"Because, it's about time you two made up." She declared, staring over at me.

"Penny, I have stated before, I don't want him in this house. Not now, not ever." I frowned, as Penny slowly rolled her eyes.

"Leonard, I believe I have something to say." Sheldon interrupted, as I slowly turned to face him.

"What?" I rudely asked, staring over at him.

Penny quickly walked through to the kitchen with Amy by her side. Sheldon looked around the room as I took a step closer to him.

"I'm sorry for what I said. It wasn't right to say, and it probably made you worry even more." He confessed.

I relaxed my shoulders from the tension of seeing him. I slowly smiled at him.

"And I'm sorry I hurt you. It was out of pure anger." I admitted.

"And I'm sorry I punched you too." Amy apologized, peering her head out from the corner.

I nodded over at her before hugging Sheldon, only to make him uncomfortable. He pushed his arms up above his head. I heard both Penny and Amy laughing from the kitchen.

"Why is he hugging me?" Sheldon asked, his voice higher than usual.

I pulled him away as he thanked me. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"Leonard, I think she just kicked!" Penny squealed, placing her hand over her belly.

I quickly jumped over as Penny still stood by the kitchen isle. Amy looked at the two of us. Sheldon took a few steps closer.

"You haven't felt it yet already?" Amy questioned.

"Little movements, but nothing like that." Penny grinned.

I continued to wait patiently with my hands on her belly. Penny sighed down at me.

"Okay, she doesn't want to do it anymore." I mumbled, standing up straight.

* * *

 **2008:**

"I swear to God, I am done with guys like that. You know, Macho, with the perfect body and the hair and the money." Penny cried, still upset about what happened earlier.

"Yeah, that must get old quick." I mumbled as the only piece of advice I could give.

"You know, just once, I would like to go out with someone who is nice, and honest, and who actually cares about me." She choked up.

I didn't hesitate. If I ever had the chance to go out with her, this would be the best time to ask her out.

"What about me?" I asked, before instantly regretting it.

"What about you what?" She questioned as I realized why it was a bad idea.

"What about if you went out with me?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"Um... yes... I am... asking you out." I stammered.

"Wow."

"I was just going off your comment about the nice guy..." I started,

"No, I know, I got that. Yeah, totally." She interrupted as I kept talking. "Yes."

"Yes what?" I asked, staring over at her.

"Yes I will go out with you." She smiled as I felt my heart lift up.

* * *

I caught a glimpse of Penny looking through the cupboards. I lifted my head from my book and asked her what she was doing.

She approached the kitchen isle and sighed, "I can't find anything to eat, and anything I see makes me feel sick."

"Have you got anything you need to eat?" I questioned.

Penny shook her head, before looking around the kitchen again. She quickly looked over at the doorway, staring blankly. I looked over to see if anything was there.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, noticing that there was nothing to be staring at.

She didn't answer. She just continued to look around the room. I smiled up at her as I watched her struggle.

"I can't think of anything." She sighed.

"Ice-cream?" I guessed, looking down at the book again.

"Yes!" She yelled, turning to the freezer. "Thanks honey." She smiled.

"Glad I could help." I mumbled, looking over my glasses.

* * *

 _ **Please Review, as reading them really lighten my day! :)**_

 _ **And please let me know what you would like to see in the next chapter, as I am completely lost on what to write!**_


	7. Chapter 6: Unexpected Visit: Jul

_'God gives us rainbows,_

 _to remind us of hope.'_

* * *

Chapter 6: Unexpected Visit: July

I stood eagerly at the gate, waiting for my father. I had recently told my parents about the baby, and my dad immediately booked his ticket to visit.

I was excited to see him as I hadn't, in person, since Penny and I travelled over to New York two-years-ago, but I had spoken to him over the phone... slightly.

Again, my father was the only one who seemed happy with the announcement. My mother was still uncertain in my opinion even though she didn't say it, but that was how I expected her to react, and that wasn't something new.

"Son!" His voice boomed in front as I peered over the crowd of people.

I spotted him and pushed my way through parade of people trying to find their way.

"Dad!" I smiled as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Leonard, I'm glad you haven't changed." He chuckled,

"Well, that's not the weirdest thing I've ever heard you say." I admitted as he beamed over at me.

* * *

I opened the front door as Penny was standing behind it. My dad immediately walked through and hugged her.

"Well, isn't that the cutest baby bump ever?" He smiled, as I shut the door.

"Thank you, Alfred." Penny gushed, "You look great too." She smiled. "Leonard.." She started, her voice completely changing tone.

"Yeah?" I skittishly asked, looking her in the eyes.

"Your mom's here." She sighed, pointing over to the couch.

I peered around the corner to see my mom sitting cautiously on the couch, with her back to the door. I immediately saw the hatred in my father before I pulled him away to the side.

"What is she doing here?" He asked,

"I don't know. She didn't say she was coming, she just turned up out of the blue." Penny explained, joining me and my dad. "She got here about ten minutes after you left." She whispered, looking over at me.

I looked behind me to see my mother carefully examining the living room.

"Go and talk to her." Penny said, pushing me forward toward her.

"Why me?" I questioned, turning around to face Penny.

"Cause, she's your mother." She persuaded, leading my dad into the kitchen.

I awkwardly placed my hands in my pockets and approached the woman that I hadn't seen in four years.

The last time we had spoken, before I told her about the baby, was a complete accident because I had called the wrong number.

"Hi, mother." I nervously smiled, walking past the arm of the couch.

She turned to face me, with a withered smile. I felt a shiver down my spine as I didn't feel like saying anything else.

"It's a nice surprise to have you here." I panicked, instantly regretting it.

"Please, this was nothing more than a pleasant meeting." She scoffed, her attention still in the room.

"So, I'm guessing that you heard about the baby... Well, I did call you to tell you about it.. So obviously you have heard about her-"I stuttered.

"Leonard," She interjected as I immediately stopped. "Can I just say, before you get all talkative about it, that I am very proud of you and Penny, for moving on so quickly-"

"I wouldn't say we've moved on." I blurted.

My mom looked over at me like I had just murdered a homeless person in front of the president. I immediately avoided eye contact from her as she continued to stare at me for interrupting her.

* * *

"You didn't say she could come, did you?" I asked.

"Leonard, why would I invite her if I know you had a rough relationship?" Penny questioned back.

Penny gazed through to my eyes as I tried to think of an answer.

"I told you once, and I will tell you again, she just showed up." She insisted.

"Okay, I believe you." I smiled, giving her a hug.

Penny pulled away before cautiously looked around the kitchen, making sure that my mother wasn't standing behind us, eavesdropping, which she would do from time-to-time.

* * *

"Good morning, Leonard." My mother greeted, walking through the bedroom door.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" I asked, folding up the clean laundry.

"Pleasantly. I suspect you did too."

I nodded, whilst keeping my head down. Creating eye contact with my mom usually ended badly... For me anyways.

My mother continued to examine the bedroom, taking in every last detail.

"Is something on your mind?" I loudly sighed.

"I was just wanting to know what you and Penny are doing today." She mentioned, still looking around.

"Not much." I said, hoping she wouldn't suggest anything. "We've got an appointment later." I added.

"Can I come with you?" She quietly asked.

I was shocked that she was actually taking an interest in something I was going to do.

"Yeah, if your okay with being with dad, cause he's coming too."

"That wrinkled old-" She began.

"Beverly!" Penny interrupted, walking up behind her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear." She apologized, turning to face Penny, who was pulling a mad face, which was pretty cute.

I rolled my eyes over at Penny as my mom stared over at me, after catching what I had just done.

I flashed a grin over to my mom as she looked like I had just insulted her. I looked away, trying to hide my laughter.

* * *

 **2009:**

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, walking out from my bedroom.

"You're in trouble." Penny smiled, her voice in a singsong tone.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were tapping my homegirl?" My mom asked, stumbling across toward me. "Did I say that right?" She asked, turning back to Penny.

"Not bad. Not bad." She smirked.

"Are you guys drunk?" I questioned.

"Well, I would hope so. Otherwise, why would we have stopped at Del Taco?" She mumbled, taking her purse off over her head. "Now, why didn't you tell me you were in a relationship with this lovely, charming young woman?" She asked, wrapping her arm around Penny's shoulder.

I still stood in disbelief as I saw Penny blushing.

"Thank you." Penny gushed.

"You're welcome." She smiled, turning to her quickly. "Is it because she's uneducated, trapped in a menial service position?"

"What the hell happened to lovely and charming?" Penny questioned as I felt myself smiling inside.

"How come you didn't tell me that you and Father were getting a divorce? How come you didn't tell me you had surgery? How come you didn't tell me my dog died?" I said, clenching my fist.

My mother exhaled a few stuttering breaths as she got closer toward me.

"What I hear you saying is that you would want a more intimate mother-son relationship."

"I do." I answered, thinking about what would happen next.

I felt intimidated as my mother hugged me, something I wished she did more when I was younger.

"There." She said, pulling me away from her. "It's late. Now, go to bed."

I cautiously walked through up to my bedroom, still looking through over to her.

* * *

I could see, in the corner of my eye, that my parents were trying not to bicker in the back of the room. The whole of the time in the office, I could tell they were struggling to be in the same room together. Fourteen-years from the divorce, and they still couldn't stay in the same room without feeling the urge to fight.

As Penny's due date approached, hearing the heartbeat was the highlight of my day. Just knowing that my daughter was okay, life didn't get any better than that.

Howard angrily kept muttering to himself as she kept moving out of sight, leaving me and Penny in giggles whenever she did so.

"She's not even born yet, and she's already a trouble maker." My dad smiled, as Doctor Perry was quietly getting angry with her.

"Just like you then." My mother grunted, looking away from my dad.

I glared up at my father, to stop him from continuing with her. He smiled over at me, before I turned my attention back over to Penny.

"Okay, you little bugger. You may be camera shy, but I'm not going to give up that easily." Howard smirked, eyes glued to the screen as I noticed he had switched to concentration mode.

Penny looked over at me as I smiled at her. She rolled her eyes as Doctor Perry was still complaining by the monitor.

* * *

I stood behind the wall, separating the living room from the kitchen, listening to the conversation between my mom and dad, whilst trying not to be caught.

This was the first time they had talked a proper conversation without fighting since I was a child, but I was only listening because it was about Bentley.

"It was a tragic thing for both of them. I don't want to see it happen again. It wouldn't be fair." My father whispered, luckily loud enough for me to hear.

"Yes. I can agree with you on that. I've never noticed Leonard that depressed before, apart from the time when he was eight and he won that science ribbon."

"That was your own fault."

I laughed silently remembering the days when my mom humiliated me in public, luckily keeping my location for myself.

"It's just he's in a really good place, and he's so excited to have this baby. I just hope the hospital staff aren't so unreliable this time. And I hope her heartbeat is the same for the rest of her life." My dad added.

He was right, for once. I could wait for this baby to be here. And I hoped the nurses weren't as crap as last time.

I could feel something bubbling away as I rethought about what happened on October 30th. Everything was just coming back, the anxiety, the pain, the depression, the guilt.

"Losing Bentley was one of the hardest things, not only for them, but for me too. He was my grandson. No grandfather should outlive their grandchildren." My father sighed.

I heard my mother nod loudly, as I tried my hardest not to cry. Not because my mom and dad were agreeing on something. Because I was picturing the depression again. Thinking about how hard it would be, losing the baby that we have already grown attached too.


	8. Chapter 7: Home Remedies: Aug

_'Take the first step in faith._

 _You don't have to see the whole staircase,_

 _Just take the first step.' - Martin Luther King Jr._

* * *

Chapter 7: Home Remedies: August

I could feel the fluttering movements of my daughter as I kept my hand placed on Penny's belly, whilst being comforted by her warmth against my chest.

The house was finally silent. No argument coming from downstairs. No flushing of the toilet every twenty seconds. You could hear a cricket chirping in the garden.

I immediately lifted my head up as I felt the first kick. I nudged Penny's shoulder as she moaned loudly.

"Penny, come on!" I urged, sitting up as I felt another.

"What's going on?" She asked, still half-asleep.

"I felt the baby!" I laughed.

Penny looked over at me as I continued to smile at her.

"Leonard, haven't you felt her before."

"No, She always gets shy and stops whenever I try."

"Oh, okay." She stuttered, before yawning. "Good for you." She added, turning back to the pillow.

I laughed silently as I waited for another kick. I laid my head back on my pillow, still keeping my hand cupped around Penny's belly.

"Leonard, she now knows you're waiting, so she isn't going to do it." Penny smirked behind her pillow.

I waited a second before responding, "You're right."

I removed my hand and turned to face the other direction.

* * *

"Okay, thank you." Penny said, before hanging up her phone. "Doctor Perry's sick, so we've got a extra, supply person." She sighed.

I looked over at her and shrugged my shoulders. She glared at me and I smiled.

"What's the big deal. As long as they are qualified to do it, then I don't know why you're looking so annoyed." I explained, gazing into her eyes.

"I'm annoyed, because we don't know anything about this person, and they don't know anything about us." She moaned.

I placed my hand on her arm to calm her. She smiled over at me.

"There is a folder." I added.

* * *

"Mr and Misses Hofstadter, Doctor Perry will see you now." The receptionist called, placing the phone back down.

I looked over at Penny as she did the same. A man appeared at the doorway, who had a striking resemblance towards Howard.

"It's not just me right? That guy looks a lot like Howard." I whispered, leaning in to Penny.

She didn't answer, she just nodded. We cautiously followed the guy into the same office we had been in since March.

"I'm sorry my father couldn't be with you today, but I can reassure you that I have spent the last twelve-years in medical school, so I believe I can handle this today."

Me and Penny both nodded.

"That probably answers the question why you look so much like Doctor Perry." Penny smiled.

"Ah, yes. I get that a lot." He laughed. "My name is Kieran Perry, and I will only assist you today. Have you got any questions?" He asked.

"Actually, only one." Penny started, before looking over at me.

I nodded at her, before finishing the sentence, as it was mine. "Penny has been feeling the baby for a while, but whenever I go to feel, she always stops. Like she's shy or something."

Kieran nodded at us, before humming to himself quickly.

"Okay." He mumbled.

He looked down and started scrambling through Howard's desk.

"There are some tactics to use if you want the baby to move, like eating a snack, moving around in quick fashion and singing to the baby. That can sometimes get them moving."

"By _them_ , you mean lots of different pregnancies, right?" I questioned.

Kieran nodded as both me and Penny sighed with relief.

* * *

"Leonard, you've been doing this for ages." Penny complained.

I chose to ignore her, and kept my hands on her belly. Penny sighed loudly over the music I had blurting from my phone.

"If she didn't do it during the last one, what makes you think she'll do it now?" She questioned, whilst trying not to laugh.

I didn't answer, as not to intervene with the music. Penny continued to laugh to herself as I tried to push it away.

"What is he doing?" Bernadette asked, leaning against the back of the couch.

"When did you get here?" I wondered, looking up at her.

"We've been here for ages." She insisted, looking strangely at me.

"Well, Bernadette, to answer your question, Leonard is trying to feel the baby, and it's hilarious!" She laughed.

"You still haven't felt her yet?" Howard questioned, whilst holding a small stuffed animal that his son had left with him.

"I have. But it was minor." I sighed, removing my hands and placed them on my legs.

Penny quietly squealed and looked away. I moved to face her to notice she was smiling.

"What's going on?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at her.

"She kicked." Penny laughed.

"Of course she did." I exasperated, collapsing into the couch.

* * *

Penny was on the phone with her mother for the third time in the same day. But I wouldn't blame her for it. On this day, one-year ago, her father passed away from a heart attack.

I was trying to be as supportive as I could be during the time, but losing Wyatt was hard on me too, as he was my father-in-law.

She smiled over at me as I gazed into her eyes, noticing that she was still hurting about it too. That's why you can't take anyone for granted, cause they could be gone within a matter of seconds.

"Okay, thanks mom. I'll speak with you later... Bye." Penny smiled, before hanging up her phone.

"How is she?" I asked, looking up at her as she joined me on the couch.

"She's doing okay." She insisted, rubbing her eye.

"How are you doing?" I questioned.

"I'm doing okay." She sighed, slightly repeating what she had previously said.

I pulled her towards me, and rested her head on my shoulder.

"I just can't believe it's been a year since he passed." She cried, choking up under her breath.

I rubbed her arm, comforting her. I breathed loudly, as I had to stop myself from tearing up.

"It's a shame he won't ever meet his granddaughter." She added.

I remained silent, not knowing what to say. There wasn't much I could say that wouldn't make this harder.

* * *

"Why did you invite him?" I questioned, looking ahead at Raj.

"He needed to get out of his apartment." Penny smiled.

Raj pulled at decorated, yet broken, pink frame of one of the shelves and threw it into mine and Penny's faces. We both shook our head in disgust as we saw how badly made it was.

"How could you say not to that?" He asked, placing it back where it was.

"Raj, did you not see it? It was horrifically designed. It was practically hanging off the back." I sighed.

Penny nodded with agreement as Raj continued to walk ahead. I looked over at Penny and glared at her.

"Okay, maybe inviting him was a mistake." She sighed.

I slowly approached Raj, as he was scattering around the isle. I turned him to face me and I grabbed his attention.

"Raj, has it ever occurred to you, that we might not be buying anything? We might just be looking." I explained.

"But you haven't got that long left. You need to start getting something ready." He insisted, as he continued to look at the shelf behind my shoulder.

"And we will. That's why we're here, to look." Penny butted in, not allowing me to finish.

I nodded with agreement, as the rest of the conversation that they had became a blur, because I stopped paying attention.

"Leonard?" Penny asked, zoning me back.

"Huh?" I wondered.

"Aren't I right about that?"

"Uh-huh." I hesitated, not knowing what I was getting myself into.

Raj continued to look through the shelves, as it was obvious Penny had annoyed him in a way.

"I love it when you act like you've listened." She smiled, before kissing my cheek.

I beamed over at her as there was not point denying that I wasn't listening, as it was so obvious.

She grabbed the cart that I had left in front of me, and leant up against it.

"Penny, I can take it." I offered, trying to be the nice guy.

"No, I've got it." She insisted, "Anyway, my back's hurting, so it's nice to lean on something."

"Why's your back hurting?" Raj questioned, turning around.

"I'm seven months pregnant." She pointed out.

"I know that." Raj scoffed.

"That's why it's hurting." I added.

Raj slowly nodded his head once, before he put his hands in his pockets, leading me and Penny through the remain of the isle.

* * *

"Penny, are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" I asked, handing her a bottled water.

Penny shook her head as she took a sip from the rim of the drink as I quickly joined her on the couch.

"No, it will be fine." She insisted, hiding the fact that her back was killing her.

"I love how you're so brave." I smiled.

Penny giggled before I leant in and kissed her.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" She exclaimed, pulling away.

"Is it your back?" I questioned.

"No, I think I felt a contraction." She wined, grabbing her belly.

"What?!" I yelled, jumping up from the couch again.

"Well, it was either that, or I'm just having _really_ bad stomach cramps."

Penny grabbed her belly again and moaned. I started leaping around the room, with either excitement or fright.

"Leonard, this really hurts." She cried.

"Okay, do you want to go to the hospital?" I asked, quickly calming myself down to look after her.

"No... I just want to stay here and live through the pain." She answered sarcastically.

"Come on, lets go." I sighed, helping her up.

I grabbed the keys from the bowl by the door, and lead Penny through to the car.

She leant up against the side of the car and moaned again. I rubbed her back to see if that helped with the pain, only to have her repel it.

"Hey, this may be it. We might have a baby." I smiled, tying to make it a positive thing.

"Yeah, two months early." She cried, lifting her head up slightly.

* * *

 **2018:**

"How do we know this guy is legit?" Penny asked, folding her arms against her chest as I was hesitant on going in.

"He predicted mine and Sheldon's engagement, he must be good." Amy insisted.

"He got lucky. Psychics are just playing with a glass ball." Sheldon scoffed, obviously angry to be back outside the building. "And predicting the so-called 'future'." He added, using his hands for air quotes.

Bernadette pushed me and Penny through the door covered in beads. The strong smell of incense tickled my asthma, making me cough.

"Are you dying? Can we get out of here?" Penny asked, turning to face me.

I pushed her forward, as I ignored the incense, which did work.

We both sat across from this guy, who I wasn't getting a good vibe from. He smelt like an ashtray, and he looked extremely tired.

"Okay," He began, as he stared right into the round glass ball in front of him. "I see... A dark future, with a little ray of sunshine at the end. A loss of someone important towards the two of you, yet something unplanned, should turn everything around.-"

"You mean like a.. Baby?" I interrupted, looking over at him.

"Exactly." He smiled, as I looked over at Penny. "Something unpleasant. A dark, dark road ahead of you." He finished.

I sighed loudly, before getting Penny out of the room. Everyone greeted us when we exited.

"What did he say?" Howard asked, as the beads covering the door clashed against each other.

"Really, Really weird stuff." Penny responded, as I stood in silence.

* * *

"Penny, as it appears, you are not having proper contractions." Howard sighed, looking at the chart.

I looked over, before I remembered about Penny having the same things when she was pregnant with Bentley.

"They're called Braxton Hicks. They're just practice ones, getting the baby, and the mother, ready for the real thing." He explained.

Penny slowly nodded her head. Doctor Perry left the room, leaving me and Penny alone.

"And you were worried." She smiled, hitting her palm on the bed.

"Me?! What about you?" I asked, trying not to raise my voice to much.

"I did not freak out..." She stated.

I raised my eyebrows at her as she looked away.

"... A lot.." She mumbled.


	9. Chapter 8: Stronger: Sep

_'When we lose one blessing,_

 _Another is most often_

 _unexpectedly given in its place.' - C.S Lewis_

* * *

Chapter 8: Stronger: September

 _Monday, September 4th_

With every Braxton Hick, I have a humble feeling inside. With every day that passes by, I know that we are one step closer to having the family we have wanted for more than three-years.

But with everyday, I know that it is slowly getting closer to the worst day I have ever experienced. And that day could never get better, no matter how long ago is was.

* * *

I was awoken to the sound of my own coughing. I had recently come down with the contagious cough that was quickly being past around from one person to another. But I was saying to Sheldon that I had the flu, just to make sure he didn't come over.

I placed on my glasses as the pitch black room became less blurry, as a result of my horrific vision.

I climbed out of bed, like I had done every night for a few days, and walked out in the hall. I grabbed the extra bed cover, that was kept in the storage box by the stairs, and a pillow.

I had been sleeping on the couch after I woke up with this for a few days, just for Penny's sake. To make sure I didn't wake her, or get her sick either. That would be the last thing I would want to happen.

* * *

"Leonard, you can't keep going on by sleeping on the couch every night." Penny sighed, sitting next to me the next morning.

"I don't want you to get sick." I smiled, my voice sounding hoarse, croaky or dead.

"Sweetie, you don't even have a voice anymore." She cried, trying not to laugh.

She smiled over at me, as I gazed into her emerald eyes. I tried not to breathe too far forward, as not to get her with my infected breath.

"You won't get me sick." She beamed.

"How'd you know that?" I questioned, as I even found my voice funny. I kind of sounded like Darth Vader.

"It's not like it would kill me." She laughed.

"If only you knew." I sighed, "It's not just a cough, it's a feeling of burning at the back of your throat, pain when you swallow, talk, or anything-anytime." I expressed, hoping that would stop her from getting too close.

She raised her eyebrows at me as I stared right at her.

"Leonard, I had this exact thing before I got pregnant. You didn't get sick."

I silently looked away as I remembered that I definitely didn't get sick when she was. And when that happened, it got us into this pregnancy.

I opened my arms, and allowed her to fall into them. I wrapped my hands around her back and leant my chin up against the top of her head.

"God, I hope you don't get sick." I smiled, before I felt Penny's laughter against my chest.

* * *

 **2016:**

"When was the first time someone called you 'sir'?" Penny asked.

"Sixth grade. But I wore a sport coat and carried a briefcase, so." I sighed, as I could tell that Penny would of laughed at that if she was in the mood.

"Can you believe when I met you, I was twenty-two?! I mean, it's crazy, where does all that time go?" She questioned, as I immediately thought of an answer.

"Mm, You watched 'The Bachelor' a lot." I laughed as Penny gave me a death stare.

"Go ahead and make jokes, but your thirties are almost over."

"No, they're not." I scoffed, knowing I was lying.

"You're closer to forty than you are thirty." She pointed out.

I laughed at her for a second before saying, "You married an old man!" I joked.

* * *

I was sat across for Doctor Perry, and a strange woman that I hadn't seen before. She was awfully quiet during the entire appointment, and practically let Howard do all the talking. We hadn't even heard her talk yet, she just nodded along.

"Would you like to ask some questions to our newly joined member?" Howard asked, placing the folder on the desk.

"I haven't got any to mind." Penny smiled, keeping one eye on the extra nurse. "What about you, sweetie?" She asked, turning to me.

I shook my head, as I was keeping my voice a minimal amount, afraid it would raise questions on why it was different.

"That's fine," The woman finally said.

I immediately knew why she would be embarrassed to talk, as she was surrounded by American people, and her accent was obviously not from anywhere around here.

"That's a really nice accent, where's that from?" Penny questioned, as I was even intrigued.

"It's Irish." She confirmed, "I was born and raised in the southern part of Ireland. Small area named Cork, lovely people." She smiled.

"Oh, I've always wanted to go over to Ireland. Just the accents are amazing!" Penny gushed, as I remained silent.

The woman nodded, as Penny laughed silently. Howard turned in his chair and smiled over at me and Penny.

* * *

"Have you got any names yet?" The woman asked, as I was feeling confused on what her name was, because she hadn't even introduced herself.

"No, we can't decide." Penny lied.

"We haven't even talked about it yet." I covered up, before I noticed Howard staring at me. "Yes, my voice is different to usual."

The room fell to an awkward silence, as Doctor Perry continued to set up the machine.

The last few appointments, I had found myself more relaxed in the environment, especially when that heartbeat can be heard. My legs weren't jumping as much, but I did find my heart pounding more apparently at times. I guess that came natural after a miscarriage and stillbirth though.

"Penny, I know you've said no every time, but are you sure you don't want to switch it over to the three-dimension?" I asked, secretly hoping she would say yes.

Penny shook her head again, as I knew that having that kind of ultrasound again wasn't something she was keen on.

The room was silent again as Penny grabbed my hand, like she had done in every appointment. We both smiled as our daughter filled the tiny screen, that was the only way we had seen her for the past six months.

"That heartbeat gets stronger every time we hear it." Howard smiled, playing around with the giant ball poking out of the keyboard.

Me and Penny remained quiet. We usually did. During the ultrasounds, we didn't really talk to much. We just wanted to listen to the heartbeat.

* * *

 _ **Please Review. I love coming home from school to the reviews as it really makes my day after a crappy six hours!**_

 _ **Author's Note: The extra nurse in the last two parts is based off my friend Dieth *Claina*, who is actually from Cork, Ireland. (She doesn't live there anymore.)**_

 _ **Happy Friday! :) (Thank God it is finally the weekend. And no school next week! All effort going into the next chapter!)**_


	10. Chapter 9: Hospitalization: Oct

_'After every storm,_

 _There is a rainbow of hope..._

 _Here I am.'_

* * *

Chapter 9: Hospitalization: October

 _(10/06/23)_

"Leonard, have you realized we've got three weeks left, and we haven't got a name." Penny pointed out.

"It's actually two-weeks and four-days." I corrected her, placing the last stuffed animals in the shelf. "Not that I've been counting." I lied, after noticing that she was glaring at me.

"Never mind." She sighed.

I turned to face her and smiled. She smiled back before I looked around the almost completed nursery.

Penny hadn't wanted to do any of the same things we did when she was pregnant with Bentley, like having a 3D ultrasound or getting maternity pictures done again, but she did allow the nursery being decorated.

"No, if you want to have a name, then we'll get one." I smiled, before walking out of the room.

I came back in with a notepad and pencil in hand. I looked up at her before she scoffed.

"I didn't mean pick one now, I meant, let's start thinking about it." She mentioned as I felt like an idiot.

"Oh." I sighed.

* * *

 **2022:**

I remained silent as me and Penny were both sitting on the couch. She had her knees up close to her chest, her head rested in the bend of her elbow.

"Do you want to do anything?" I questioned, before getting a blank stare from Penny.

"Not really." She confessed.

Hearing Penny's voice was my current medicine for my healing process. Unfortunately, it was hard to come across.

My brother mentioned that for the first few weeks to a month from a traumatic experience, things around the house would be quiet. Luckily, we weren't even a week out from the unexpected stillbirth, so only four more weeks filled with this awkward silence.

"You sure?" I asked, breaking the silence again.

"Leonard, how could you actually want to do anything?!" She asked, her voice in the verge of yelling.

She jumped off the couch and made a break for the stairs. I sat in silence again after I heard the bedroom door slam shut upstairs.

I placed my head in my hands, before feeling a tear against my cheek.

I unlocked my phone and saw my son's profile from back in April as my background.

I placed my phone back on the table, before throwing my glasses on to the couch, rubbing my eyes.

As Penny wasn't in the room, I didn't stop myself from crying. Whenever Penny was with me, it didn't feel right, crying in front of her.

* * *

 _(10/15/23)_

"The name you pick out of this hat, will be the final one." I insisted, trying to get the name picking over with, as we had already been doing it for three hours, today alone.

"Okay." Penny smiled, before scurrying her hand through the hat.

She kept her hand in for a moment to long, as I stood impatiently.

"Oh, Come on!" I said, easing my voice slightly.

"Jeez, chill out, Leonard." She laughed, lifting the small folded paper out of the hat.

She quickly unfolded it and looked down at the name that was imprinted on the lined paper.

"Can we pull another?" She wondered.

"No, you said this one was final. We both loved all the names, so we left it to this."

"Okay, can you give me something that would persuade me to choose this name?" She questioned as I looked over at her.

"I need to know what it is first." I pointed out.

Penny laughed for a second before apologizing. "It's Raegan." She smiled.

"Okay.." I started, before having to think. "She's our Rae of sunshine." I smiled, playing with the nickname of the name and the normal word 'ray'.

"I hate you." She sighed, turning away.

"Do you not like the name?" I asked.

"Yes, I love it. It just needs to stick." She insisted.

* * *

 _(10/23/23. 11:30AM)_

"That's a first." Doctor Perry smiled, starting up the ultrasound.

The baby was surprisingly in-shot. That was definitely the first time that had happened.

With Penny's due date now just a day away, we had been asked to come in at least twice a week.

"And that's not normal for this little girl either." He sighed, concentrating on the screen.

I had immediately noticed that her heartbeat was strong, and still going, but it wasn't as fast as it usually was.

"Is she okay?" I questioned, after freaking myself out the night before.

I read an article published by a doctor somewhere in Chicago about when you get closer to your due date, or the later the baby is, the higher the risk of a stillbirth.

"She's doing okay, but we might make this appointment a little longer, just to make sure." Howard smiled, as Penny almost crushed my hand.

The only thing reassuring me was her heartbeat. Everything was fine through the pregnancy, like it was with Bentley, but as the time came to have the baby, the heartbeat gets haywire.

* * *

 _(10/23/23. 14:25PM)_

I saw the panic in Penny's eyes as I placed the hospital bag down by the door.

"Leonard, how long are we going to be here?" She asked, as I hadn't told her yet.

"They said we're not leaving until we have this baby." I sighed.

Penny exasperated loudly as I laughed at her. "That could be days, maybe even weeks!" She moaned.

"They won't keep her in there too long. Don't worry." I reassured.

Penny laughed before looking around the room.

"So, we're hospitalized until we have this baby?" She questioned.

"I guess so." I sighed, laying down on the hospital bed.

Penny laughed at me before vanishing into the bathroom, which thankfully came as an en-suite.

I immediately sat up as the door opened. The nurse looked at me as if I was crazy.

"My wife's in the bathroom." I quickly answered, kind of panicking to explain what was going on.

"Don't worry, that's not the weirdest thing I've seen a father do on one of those beds." She smiled, "Once, this insane guy helped his wife through the pain by pretending to be in labor himself." She laughed, obviously having a flashback.

I nodded slowly before sighing with relief as Penny reemerged from the bathroom door.

"Oh, hello." Penny answered slowly.

"Hello!" She greeted, turning around to Penny.

Penny shook her head over at me, mouthing a few words as the nurse had her head down, looking at the clipboard she had brought in with her. I shrugged my shoulders back in response.

"Let me introduce myself." She began.

I laughed under my breath for a second, before saying, "Please do."

"I'm Astell Jones. I understand that you have been sent here for a observation on your peanut, and I will be the one to help you through the entire process." She smiled, her voice sounding sweet and encouraging.

* * *

 _(10/24/23)_

I was awoken early the next morning to the sound of the heart monitor for the baby.

I lifted my head quickly to notice that I had fallen asleep with my head on the edge of Penny's bed.

"Oh, crap." I whispered to myself, feeling guilty that I had fallen asleep on my duty that I had promised Penny.

I smiled over at Penny as she was still fast asleep on the bed, which wasn't that comfy, having rest my head on it for at least half-an-hour.

I sat up straight in the chair, before hearing my back click.

"Ow.." I mumbled, having the pain shoot right up my spine. "Why did I have to fall asleep like that?" I wondered, still keeping my voice to a low tone.

"Leonard?" Penny's voice came from down in the bed.

"No, Leonard's asleep." I panicked, answering with the first thing that came to my head.

"Leonard?" Penny asked again as I regretted saying the most stupid thing ever.

"Yes." I sighed, sitting back down at the chair.

"What are you doing awake?" She asked, looking up at me.

"I could ask you the same." I sneered, while it was obvious my brain was still asleep.

I barely noticed Penny glaring at me, due to the minimal light coming through from underneath the door.

"Go to sleep." She smiled, before placing her head back in the pillow.

I collapsed on to the chair, that I had made into the bed it transformed in to.

I listened intently to the heartbeat monitor, which was quietly beeping away in the corner of the room, closest to the door.

* * *

 _(10/25/23)_

I hadn't slept the past two nights as the fear of the heartbeat stopping while I was asleep was holding me back.

Luckily, I had talked to the nurse about not running the heartbeat machine from certain hours, to at least give me a little sleep.

I was also already getting a little stir crazy, after being in the hospital for a few days, for quite literally nothing. Penny wasn't in labor, the baby doing just fine. I understood we weren't allowed to leave, but I really wanted to.

I returned into the room to be greeted by Astell, who had been popping in every once in a while.

"Good morning, Leonard." She smiled, with her cheerful voice.

"Good morning." I replied back, before handing Penny her beverage from the canteen.

I took a sip from my coffee as Astell spoke to Penny about the delivery process. I pretended to listen, when all I could think about was holding this baby in my arms.

"Have you two got a name ready?" She asked.

"No." I sighed. "Penny decided that she didn't like the name we had originally chosen, so we're still thinking."

"It's not that I didn't like it, it's because it didn't seem right. I wasn't sure that was her name." She defended.

"Don't worry, you've got plenty of time." Astell smiled, before gathering her clipboard from the bed and pen from the floor and leaving.

I smiled over at Penny, as I could tell she was agitated.

"I want her now." She sighed.

"I know you do. So do I." I grinned, "But she'll get here when she wants to."

"That could be ages. She took two months before she kicked for you." She mentioned.

I laughed over at her. "But, the doctors won't let it be that long." I reassured.

"It better not be." She muttered.

* * *

 _(10/27/23)_

I was lying next to Penny on the bed as I helped her through another Braxton Hick.

She kept saying that she didn't need help, even though I could tell she was thankful for it.

Me an Penny were both going as crazy as each other, having been at the hospital for now four days, with no signs that we could be leaving anytime soon.

I was also starting to get anxious about Penny getting to late into the pregnancy. She was currently at three days overdue, and that article I had read was starting to get to me.

Astell rushed through the door, in hopes that something was happening. It wasn't the first time she had done that.

"Hey, Astell." I smiled, greeting her.

"How's Jay?" Penny asked, and caused her to blush.

"Oh, he's working with another woman. His hands working child-bearing magic." She gushed over him.

"Are you ever going to ask him out?" I wondered, after hearing about her crush on another nurse a few too-many times.

"Oh, I could never do that. You know me." She blushed.

I turned to Penny and mumbled, "A little too much."

Penny lifted her hand and swung it in front my face a few times, with no control of her wrist.

Astell looked down at the chart and smiled slightly. "Penny, how far apart are your contractions?" She asked.

Penny looked up at me, before staring at the clock.

"About two minutes, why?" She questioned, looking at Astell.

"Cause they're not Braxton Hicks. They're proper contractions." She confirmed, "You two are having a baby." She smiled.

Penny looked up at me as I blew a sigh of relief under my skin. It was finally here. And we were finally going to see our daughter.

* * *

 _(10/28/23. 09:56AM)_

In the four nights we had been at the hospital, I had only slept for one. Not because I chose not to, because I couldn't find myself falling asleep.

"Leonard, what are you doing?" Penny asked, as I dancing around the room, and I admit that it was bad.

"I'm just trying to make this more fun for you." I laughed.

"It's not working." She sighed, trying to hide a smile.

"Ha! You're smiling." I pointed out.

She didn't say anything, she just looked over my shoulder. I quickly turned my head to see Astell staring at me.

"Happy there, Leonard?" She asked, as I was immediately embarrassed.

I slowly nodded, before placing my hands in my pockets and walking over to the bed.

Astell smiled and walked over to the chart on the other side of the bed.

"How long was she standing there?" I asked, leaning in and whispering it to Penny.

"About a minute-and-a-half." She whispered back with a smile on her face.

"That's not good." Astell sighed, lifting the small chart paper from by the machine.

Me and Penny both immediately stopped staring at each other and we looked straight over to her.

"What's going on?" I asked, trying to stop myself from panicking.

"For a day of labor, this isn't a large amount of contractions that we could say that it's doing anything." She sighed, before taking something down as a note. "If this is still like this by three this afternoon, we might have to start thinking of different ways of speeding this up."

"What's wrong with waiting for it?" I questioned.

"I'm not waiting." Penny said, raising her voice slightly.

"Not you, I wasn't asking you." I mentioned, looking at Penny before turning to Astell.

"Leonard, Penny is already four days overdue, which can't be fun for her. I don't want to freak you out, but it's not good for the baby either. I'm doing what's best for both Penny and this baby." She explained, before leaving the room.

* * *

 _(10/28/23. 16:15PM)_

I blew a sigh of relief as Penny let go of the pressure she was placing on my hand.

Luckily, her contractions had gotten closer together, so they didn't have to do anything to speed up the delivery. I was thankful about that, and Penny was too, only when she wasn't having a contraction.

"Thank you for leaving marks on my hand." I smiled, hoping she wouldn't understand the sarcasm.

"Thank you for getting me pregnant." She answered back.

"Was that sarcasm?" I questioned.

"No, it was literal. This part isn't as fun, but I can't wait to have her in our arms." She smiled. "I also can't wait to see you cry." She laughed.

"I'm not going to cry." I defended myself.

Penny snorted loudly as I looked over at her. "Yes you are." She laughed.

"Okay, I might." I sighed.

I pulled her towards my chest and kissed her on her forehead.

"I love you, Penny." I said, with a small smile.

"I love you too, Hofstadter." She laughed.

* * *

 _(10/29/23)_

"Hey, Leonard." A familiar voice caused me to turn.

"Oh, hey, Frank." I greeted the guy I had ran into a few times. "How's Miranda?" I asked.

"She's doing okay. We are both really tired though. How's Penny?"

"Getting there. Slowly." I sighed, before taking a sip of my second coffee of the day.

"Wish her luck from me." He smiled before leaving.

I leant against the wall for a moment, being thankful for Penny. I smiled behind the coffee cup as a realized that my daughter could be born within the next couple of hours.

"Are you, Leonard Hofstadter?" A doctor called, peering his head around the corner.

"Yes." I answered back.

"You're wife is summoning you." He sighed.

Without thinking about the different ways on why Penny would want me, my mind decided to go with the worst one.

I had been by Penny's side through the death and the stillbirth of our son. And now my mind was saying that it had happened again.

I burst through the door, as Penny looked at me like I was stupid.

"What's your rush?" She questioned.

"You... You wanted me." I said, catching my breath.

"You were gone more than an hour, I was wondering where you were." She explained.

"An hour?!" I asked, trying to think if it was really that long.

Penny nodded her head. I looked away for a second.

"It couldn't have been that long." I sighed, not remembering how long I really was.

"Uh.." Penny began before stopping suddenly. "Oh, Oh."

"What?" I asked, rushing over to her.

"I think... I think, my water just broke."

I looked up at her, with a giant grin on my face.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

I pulled Penny into my chest, wrapping my arms around her back. I kissed her on her cheeks over at over again, alternating between the two.

"We're going to have a baby." I smiled, gazing into her eyes.

"Yeah." She said, with a huge grin on her face, as if it was the only thing that mattered.

Our lips touched for a moment. When I pulled away, I could see Penny's eyes glistening.

"You're gunna make me start now." I smirked, before rubbing my eye clear from any tears.

* * *

 _(10/30/23)_

"Leonard, this baby marks the death of someone else. That person will be you!" Penny gritted.

"Way to get a head start." I mentioned, feeling the pressure on my hand.

Penny angrily looked over at me as I could tell this wasn't the time to be snarky. She swung her head back and released my hand.

"Come on, Penny. A few more pushes and you'll have your baby." Astell smiled, trying to persuade her.

"No, I can't. I can't." Penny panted, as I could tell she was already exhausted.

"Can't isn't a word in this delivery room! I don't allow it!" Astell yelled.

I raised my eyebrows at her, as that was the first time I had seen Astell not in her nice coating.

"Well, I'm using it!" Penny shouted back.

"Penny," I began, getting her attention. "Your dad always believed that you could do something as amazing as have a baby. Unfortunately he can't be here to see that. But you can still prove that he was right, please... do it for your dad." I smiled, allowing her to grab my hand again.

Penny nodded, getting Astell interested.

"Okay, another push."

I could feel Penny's force as she placed pressure again. I allowed the pain through as all I could think about was this baby. I hadn't even noticed the date yet.

Astell continued to persuade Penny through the next few pushes, as I remained the pain relief.

"One final push, Penny. One more big one." Astell lead on.

Penny did exactly what she was told, and almost made me squeal with the amount of pressure and squeezing she placed on one hand.

She relaxed and released my hand from a death grip. She swung her head back as I could feel pulsating in my fingers.

"I'm so proud of you. Your dad would be too." I smiled, stopping myself from tearing up.

The high-pitched cry echoed through the room as I looked over at Astell wrapping our daughter.

Penny quickly caught her breath before Astell handed her into my arms.

"Oh, my God." I smiled, before sniffing loudly. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry."

Everything about her was perfect. Her little button-nose. Her tiny tuffs of brown hair. Her dark green eyes, that couldn't yet see anything.

I showed her off to Penny, who was still sweating. She immediately began crying as she gushed over the baby.

"Leonard, she's perfect." She smiled, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"She really is." I gushed, my voice choking up.

"I'll leave you three alone." Astell mentioned, before leaving.

Penny placed her arms out, and I transferred our daughter into her warm embrace.

"Sweetie, she's gorgeous." She cooed.

We both watched as she attempted to suck her thumb. She mindlessly looked around the room, with her eyes wide open.

"We forgot to pick a name." Penny pointed out.

"How about Riley?" I asked, looking down at the newborn.

"Riley... I like it." She smiled, glancing down at her too. "Yeah, Riley. That's her name." She smiled. "Where did you get that?"

"You said you wanted a name with an R, so I looked it up, and I really liked it."

"Hi, Riley." Penny smiled whilst tearing up.

The newborn looked up as we called her name.

"She likes it too." I beamed. "Welcome to the world, Riley." I added, as she wrapped her whole fist around my tip of my finger.

* * *

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